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Dart jokes
Why was the bull angry . . because there were three in the bed lol funny enough my 5 year old son came up with that one the other day it was a bit random but funny either way.
Darts used.  . . Gary anderson phase 3 25g /23g Scott waites. 
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haha you nutterGuests cannot see images in the messages. Please register at the forum by clicking here to see images.
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I went into my local pub the other night and a few of my mates were in there playing darts. I didn't fancy a game so I did a 180 and left.
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just watch me play Guests cannot see images in the messages. Please register at the forum by clicking here to see images.
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(04-02-2014, 09:57 PM)dannyd180 Wrote: I went into my local pub the other night and a few of my mates were in there playing darts. I didn't fancy a game so I did a 180 and left.

that's a goodenGuests cannot see images in the messages. Please register at the forum by clicking here to see images.
Darts used.  . . Gary anderson phase 3 25g /23g Scott waites. 
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My Mrs asks me if I'm playing pub darts or farm darts, She says pub darts are when its doubles and trebles and farm darts are when it's going for the bull but cant hit a cows arse with a shovel.
Got to love someone that's such a boost to your confidence.
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Current Board 
Blade 5 with Corona Surround and Unicorn number ring
Darts
Modified Unicorn Striker with RD medium sparkle stems, hardcore  charcoal flights and Target titanium stem rings   

Playing 40 years on and off and still barely average
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(04-02-2014, 11:11 PM)ChrisTheFish Wrote: My Mrs asks me if I'm playing pub darts or farm darts, She says pub darts are when its doubles and trebles and farm darts are when it's going for the bull but cant hit a cows arse with a shovel.
Got to love someone that's such a boost to your confidence.
women have that affect lol
Darts used.  . . Gary anderson phase 3 25g /23g Scott waites. 
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LOL! Guests cannot see images in the messages. Please register at the forum by clicking here to see images.
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A bloke goes to his local pub one night to watch his mate play darts. The team was short so his mate asked him to fill in. Having never played before he was quite nervous. He starts off ok getting better with every throw. Just then, a nun comes into the pub and walks around collecting donations for the church from patrons.

So the old mate gets up to have his go. First dart goes straight into the 60. 2nd shot goes a little high and lands in a single 20. He throws the 3rd dart and its slips out of his hand bounces off the light above the board and straight back over his head hitting the nun square between the eyes. The nun stumbles, hits the floor and dies. There's complete shock on the faces of everyone in the pub. The place goes quiet. Then the caller yells out the score. "One Nun Dead and 80"

Yeah I know it's bad, but it's a dart joke none the less lol Guests cannot see images in the messages. Please register at the forum by clicking here to see images.
Gary Anderson 2015 Phase 3 - 23g
2015 180's -133
2016 180s - 23/150
Best leg 11 Darts : 140 - 180 - 121 - S20 D20 (136.63 avg)
Best peg - 134 (T20-T18-D10)
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Keep em coming guys...I really miss the humor and the banter...I know you all have it in you....and y'all been waaaay tooooo serious lately! Darts, like life, should be filled with the laughter of being ...Nutz!!!!
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A very drunk man goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and asks him if he would like to try the bar game of darts. Three in the bullseye and win a prize.. Only a pound for three darts.
The drunk agrees and throws the first dart. A bullseye!! Downs another drink, takes aim on wobbly feet, lets go...Two bulls eyes!!!! Two more quick drinks go down. Barely able to stand, he lets go with the last dart.
Three bulls eyes!!!
All are astounded. No one has ever won. The bartender searches for a prize... grabs a turtle from the bar's terrarium and presents it to the drunk as his prize.
Three weeks pass... The drunk returns and orders more drinks, then announces he would like to try the dart game again. To the total amazement and wonderment of all the local drunks, he scores three more bulls eyes and demands his prize.
The bartender, being a sort of drunk himself, and a bit short of memory, doesn't know what to give, and he asks the drunk " Say, what did you win the last time?"
And the drunk responds "A roast beef sandwich on a hard roll!"
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A middle aged man and his wife live in a poor part of town and decide to rent out their second bedroom. They advertise and a beautiful young lady enquires about the room. The wife explains that because it is such an old terraced house there is no bath in the house so instead they use a big zinc bath in front of the fire in the living room. The young lady says, “It would be nice to have a bath in front of the open fire at night, but what about your husband?”
The wife replies, “If you have a bath on a Monday or a Friday evening it will be fine because he always goes out to a darts match from about 7 O’clock ‘till after 11pm.”
“OK,” the girl says.
The next night is a Monday so the husband goes out and the wife brings in the zinc bath for the young lady and puts it in front of the fire. When she undresses ready to get in the bath she notices the wife staring at her naked body. The wife realises what she is doing and exclaims, “Sorry but you have got no hair down below.”
“I’m a model, so I have to shave it off otherwise it would show through skimpy underwear and so on.”
Later that night when the wife goes to bed she tells her husband about the young lady having no pubic hair. “It must look very strange and unnatural,” says the husband. “You must be making it up. No one would shave down there.”
“I could leave the leave the curtains open just a little bit at the top so that you could peep through and see for your self next time she has a bath,” says the wife. So the following Friday they get the bath out and the husband goes out to his darts match. The young lady gets undressed and the wife sees some eyes peering through the top of the window. The model is facing the window so the wife points and then lifts her skirt up and points at her own thick bushy pubic hair. Later that night in bed she is talking to her husband and he asks her, “Why did you lift your skirt up and show everything?”
“Just so that you could compare, you must have seen me a thousand times naked, why are you bothered?”
“I have, but the darts team have not
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Fred and Steve sitting around one afternoon having a beer. After a while Steve says, "If I were to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you were off darting, she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
Fred crooked his head sideways for a minute, stroked his bow and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally he says, "Well, I don’t know about being related, but it would make us even!!"
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Funny!
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Hey guys!

I am Bokito, and I came here because of two reasons. One: spam, where I usually am, is hacked, and I can't access that site anymore. And two: I wanna share you my darts jokes!

1. Optimal strategy for HORSE.
"I just discovered the best strategy for the game HORSE. Aim for your opponents butt, he won't be able to hit it!"

2. First to the bull
So I played my friend last night in a game of darts and I said "first to the bullseye wins". So I ran to the board and won.

3. Darts Championships
During the World Darts Championship Final for handicapped players, the match was won with one leg difference!

Hope you like them!
Bokito
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