Darting Around The Port (Week 10 2019)
   

There is nothing like a bit of smoked fish.
 
I have just finished my breakfast kipper.
 
Unfortunately, a bone has become lodged between my teeth.
Fotheringay is in the en suite trying to dislodge the fishy fragment with a wire brush.
I sit in bed patiently waiting for him to return my dentures.
 
“Might as well comb my hair” I think.
My toupees are stored in the bedside cabinet.
It looks a bit chilly out, so I opt for the Alvin Stardust model.
I hum “My Coo Ca Choo” as I tease the comb through the silky tresses.
 
Eventually, my loyal and ancient retainer returns with my teeth on a silver salver.
So it is that I start my seventy third year.
Growing old is such good fun.
 
Thankfully, ocheologists never really grow old.
They may struggle to reach the board, which isn’t a problem as it is only a blur on the wall anyway.
They still know the best way to finish on 92, albeit that the last time they did it was in 1992.
Most of all, they know that eventually they will hit something they aim for.
The secret though, is for enough of them to manage it in on the same night.
 
So it is that the cardigan cavalry finally gets off the mark on Friday.
After nine fruitless sorties to the oche, they take on the similarly pointless Femme Fatales in Annie’s Attic.
A twelve darter from first up Scott Park provides a perfect platform for the Peripatetics.
Thereafter, the visitors are emphatically efficient in racking up seven unanswered wins.
Not until Typhoon Tracey takes to the oche in the dying embers of the game do the ladies have anything to celebrate.
 
Meanwhile, the Blyth Spirits continue their winning ways at the Sandyforth.
This week two of the abecedarian archers secure wins for the league newcomers.
Unfortunately, the visitors are already 6-0 to the good, this after wins for Barry Blyth, Liam Gill, Alan Thornton, Chris Blyth, man of the match Lee Swales and Steve Dagger.
Good news though for Curtis Sandercock and Ethan Rowley as they finally make it across the winning line.
 
Table toppers the Cons make it ten from ten against resolute visitors the Workies.
Dean Barker, top stick Jordan Brooks, Wes Newton and averages leader Dave Smith all return triumphant at the end of a one-sided first half.
Callum Warwick stops the rot at the start of the second period, this before Steve Hadgraft secures both points for the hosts.
This proves a timely intervention, given that Dean Stockell and Mark Anderson won record late wins for the visitors in reducing the final deficit to 5-3.
 
Also winning by that score this week are the Olympians.
Pete Jackson, Paul Bywater and man of the match Cavan Thake chalk up first half wins for the Mount, the solitary response from opponents Highbury ‘B’ provided by the ever improving Michael Thwaites.
A 180 from Anthony Rhimes and a hard fought victory for Roy Stephenson reignite home hopes at the start of the second half.
However, despite striving heroically, they are unable to stop final duo Craig Gill and Andy Parry Jones taking the last two legs and both points.
 
The Comrades are similarly frustrated on Friday, this after surrendering a 3-1 advantage on Upper Lune Street.
Lenny Billington, man of the match Gaz Whitehead and Colin Newton are first half winners, with Mike Jackson a solitary success story for the Biased Boys.
Thereafter, things go rapidly downhill for the visitors as Terry Beavers, Ryan Stewart, standout skipper Les Ivison and Alan Jackson make it a second half whitewash for the home side.
 
The Bug and Strawberry are involved in a close encounter of the darting kind on Lord Street.
A shared experience between Phil Reavey and Matty Kilburn gets things off to an interesting start, this before the home side get their mandibles motivated.
Top tic David O’Neill, Gareth Bidder and Dave Stockton are unstoppable in easing the tungsten termites clear.
Both points are safely tucked away at the start of the second half, courtesy of Laurie Barker; this before the procrastinating punnets finally get out of bottom gear with late wins for Ken Nield, Andy Gratrix and Jimmy Pilling.
 
A couple of 7-1 victories bring the curtain down on this week’s goings on upon the oches.
 
Defending champions Dockers ‘A’ run amok against visitors the West Enders.
A timely 114 outshot by Adam Blyth brings to an end the victorious run of skipper Jamie Spore, albeit that pride of place in the Dockers firmament is reserved for a red hot Tommy Duggan.
Alone in reaching the promised land for the visitors this week is Jeff Wright, albeit that three of his teammates coulda, woulda, shoulda on another night.
 
Finally this week, a one sided encounter between Deaduns and Highbury ‘A’.
There are more brushes to be seen on the home side of the match card, than in last week’s British Leaf Sweeping Championships.
Mind you, few would have been able to resist John Shaw as he rattled in a maximum en route to a nine dart victory for the triumphant footballers.
Not for the first time, Danny Atkin is a solitary success story for the ravaged Royal Oak.
 
I have to go now, as Fotheringay has just dropped my birthday cake down the stairs.
Unfortunately, he decided to light the seventy odd candles before setting off from the kitchen.
The curtains in the hall are ablaze and the fire brigade are on their way.
 
Thanks for reading.
I eat my peas with honey 
I've done it all my life 
It makes the peas taste funny 
But it sticks them on the knife 
Reply
lol - thank you Roger.
Reply
Lots of smiles this week Smile

Thanks for writing Roger!
B: 25g   S: Medium   F: Standard   180s: 5/25
Reply


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